If you are feeling fearful, or relieved, or angry, or guilty, or scared - - this is the typical landscape of divorce. It is tempting to avoid the questions, to hide your head in the sand or believe if you don’t address the problem, a divorce won’t happen. There are times when your spouse has expressed interest in a divorce but refuses to make the move because he or she does not want to be the “bad guy” in the marriage. Or maybe your spouse is making an empty threat hoping that changes will happen so you can stay married. Speaking with a divorce professional does not automatically mean you are going to get a divorce. In fact, divorce professionals can give you advice on how to avoid divorce, if this is what you and your spouse want. However, if divorce is a possibility, collecting information and planning is imperative.
Think about scheduling a trip from Maryland to California, having no idea whether you will travel by train, plain or automobile, and having no map how to get there. You would be quite fearful of that trip. Now imagine you are traveling but have a detailed road map and though you may not know exactly the condition or roads, you feel confident you will reach your goal and know what to expect when you arrive.
By engaging in divorce planning, the loss and sadness may still be present, but the fear of the unknown is relaxed and at least you have an idea of where you will end up when and if separation or divorce occurs. This is the goal of divorce planning, to remove the fear and empower a spouse to make decisions about the future.
Professionals who handle divorce planning often bill hourly for the work, rather than asking for a large retainer up front, and will ask you to fill out a detailed questionnaire, rather than bringing you into their offices for a lengthy chat with no advance information. By filling out the questionnaire yourself as fully as possible (understanding that you may not have all the information or answers) and providing it to your divorce professional in advance, you will receive the most accurate advice. Often divorce planning only takes 2-4 hours, but it provides you the security in knowing what your future will hold should you decide to proceed with separation or divorce. If you are interested in obtaining more information about divorce planning, click here.